Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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