he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm just crazy horny about you
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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