all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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