i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
