she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
