I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
