She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I am full of burrito and curiosity
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
