I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
