i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize