Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
jump out the window naked night went bad
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