So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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