This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
