I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
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