I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
