Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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