Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
This is classic penis vs brain.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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