Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Green mimosas i think yes
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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