I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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