Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize