i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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