Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
