Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
