My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm like, not good at living.
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