we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
