Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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