Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
