it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
