PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize