He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
