i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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