Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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