I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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