Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
