Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
