At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
