You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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