i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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