Buhtt sex?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize