Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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