super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
