Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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