Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
