his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
