what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
