Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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