My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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