I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
