If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
