Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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