It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
