he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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