my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize