When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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