we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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