i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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