I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
