two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
