Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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