she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Come on in and take your pants off
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